Almost a year ago, a beloved mother and community leader saw in me my skill with self-expression and believed I would be a great asset for understanding autism. Three presentations and a dozen autism articles later, I believe her. With all my heart, thank you for believing in me. In the first few years after I was diagnosed, the information I gathered gave me the impression that writing was a bit of a rarity for autistic people.
Yet, I happen to know an ambitious and aspiring young autistic writer who has made quite a name for herself. Her name is Madison Sasser. When I thought about writing and autism, I realized there is a connection that directly influences our output. One that affects the very words I am choosing to use for this article. By understanding what goes into our writing, you will see how words are the window to our minds.
Have you ever read someone’s writing and wondered just what exactly they were trying to explain? Was it so dense, long, and/or wordy that it felt confusing? Then you have probably read my first eight articles here on Medium. Pardon the humor (yes, that was a joke). In the last year, I noticed a basic truth about autism and writing. Like speaking, writing is an extension of how a person explains their ideas.
One of the first clues that I was autistic came from a 4th grade class assignment when I was 10. We were given a topic and had to explain how to do it. Mine was how to tie your shoes. My presentation was so confusing that the entire class and teacher could not understand what I tried too hard to explain in writing. The experience was mildly traumatic, but it is proof now that I was autistic then. I am still this way today, by the way.
Writing is an extension of a person’s thinking and self-expression. For some autistic people, writing takes a lot of energy. This can happen for a number of reasons. For example, the autism trait called fixation involves being intensely focused on doing something for a period of time or through repetition. I could analogize this laser focus to holding your breath as you submerge underwater. The special interest would be scuba diving beneath the water to explore the bottom of the seashore.
We would feel the excess energy used in the form of surfacing and taking those first gasping breaths of air. It can be quite a drain sometimes. When fixated on an activity, we are not always aware of how much energy, mental or otherwise, is used. Remember. I often engage in activities as if I am saying, “I am going to do this my way.” With conviction.
Another reason I feel it requires a lot of energy for me to write could include an entirely different diagnosis. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder — Inattentive. For those who are not familiar with ADHD, we have a tendency to not sit still for long periods of time. Constant thought. Frequent motion. We may start one task, no matter how small or detailed, and skip off to start or continue something else. I suspect focusing on persistent writing requires energy to sit still.
So, this could be draining in more ways than one, all at the same time. The reason I finally decided to share this is because I have now been writing for eight days in a row. While this is my way of showing my intense dedication to Autism Awareness Month 2023, it is still a lot of effort for me. And I cannot sit still for an hour either. Oh, what a conversation that would be.
I am an advocate. I can be a voice for autistic people. And we need everyone now more than ever so that our issues are heard and not dismissed.
#LetThatThinkIn
Welcome to the next Autism Experience.
The Depth of My Despair.
