…ing fully human, but instead as a willful act to manipulate others and to draw attention to myself. In reality the only attention I wanted was for someone to acknowledge how much I was struggling as a person who went 40 years not knowing why nothing ever worked out and why, despite trying to do everything in my power to change, nothing ever did. What people don't talk about is how vulnerable autistic people are. We are the butt of the joke, we…