Here I was, at the end of July 2023. The trauma from my late diagnosis had shredded my mind. Denial was no longer masking the truth of what autistic life was like. And I was forced to take autism seriously because I was 23 years behind. I had not integrated into society by the age of 41. Plus, I found the DEP theory, which explained the causes of economic and social issues affecting millions of autistic people, including myself.
Neglect by mental health professionals left me with a burning desire for justice. But I now found time-critical problems that my denial had prevented me from seeing clearly. In order to move forward in my life, I had to focus on solving them first. My courage would be tested in ways I never wanted it to be. The challenges I would face with this are more than anyone should have to do alone: new accommodations.
It was fortunate that I found Dr. Milton’s Double Empathy Problem Theory when I did. Had I not, the trauma could have soon become overwhelming. I was struggling to make sense of my late-diagnosed autistic life after coping with the denial. The video of the theory substantiated socioeconomic problems I had been having throughout my life. So there was no hesitation about what I needed to do next. Do not give up. I finally have answers.
I requested another meeting with the director that I met during my counseling session on April 5th. Not a thought was spared for how that meeting went. I was fixated solely on problem-solving at this point. The first was how flawed their generalized healthcare had been in light of the DEP theory. My hope was to convince the director of my findings and demonstrate how I could help improve their services.
Case management could not compensate for my monotropic interests. Psychiatry tried to medicate my natural thinking. It took my third counselor for me to realize why I had made no progress after four years of trying. I was expected to function like someone who is not autistic, as I struggled and masked my incompatibility with neurotypical care and employment practices. But I told the director they had a golden opportunity.
“I can advance existing autism research, but only if I am employed and supported in a workplace with efficient accommodations. Where to go from here is forward by working together.” The director offered no comments after I had finished this August 14th presentation. What else was I supposed to do? No designated expert stepped up to help. I had to do it myself, and only two months after uncovering serious trauma.
One month later, in September, I received their response. I was supposed to email their recruitment help services to discuss accommodations with filling out written job applications. They ignored what I presented about cross-neurotype communication issues, the inadequacies of generalized mental healthcare, and my potential to enhance autism research as a primary source. I had no choice but to stand my ground.
I responded in a letter where I stated, “After considering the chosen method of communication, email, and the individuals I would be instructed to discuss accommodations with, who are likely not autistic, I regret to inform you that I must decline and request an alternative that is suitable for my time-sensitive autistic needs.” I had to take the DEP theory seriously because there was a legitimate risk of cross-neurotype communication problems.
I insisted that I could improve autism research and should be considered for employment. Another month passed before I received the final response from the director. They respectfully declined to change what had been offered and insisted no new positions would be created. All year long, I shared my autism writing with that director. I hoped to encourage them to take my knowledge and experience seriously.
Fearing that they may now benefit from it, I revoked their permission to use my writing. I now had proof of my suspicion from April that accommodations were needed. The double empathy problem can and does interfere with any part of the hiring process. There was no telling how many jobs I lost due to a lack of accommodations for autism and employment. Including this unusual attempt for employment with my healthcare provider.
I was going to apply to them in May, but I hesitated. Instead, I did make two requests for accommodations through my counselor that were ignored. Clearly, Dr. Damian Milton’s theory was correct. Research also indicated that autistic adults likely had one of the highest disability unemployment rates. I was unemployed for a whole seven years. I was in survival mode, trying to find answers and solve problems. I was exhausted.
Acting on instinct, I did the only thing left that I could think of. For a week after October 17th, I tried to figure out what accommodations would be needed for circumstances like mine. Using the DEP theory as a guide, I started with the application process and worked my way through to employment. And, in this stress-driven environment, I did recognize a series of red flags that I was neither willing nor able to dismiss.
In a letter I submitted to my healthcare provider on October 24th, 2023, I requested four occupational accommodations. Hiring processes must be accommodated due to the DEP theory. Employment considerations must accommodate autistic and ADHD people whose work history is impacted by being late or undiagnosed. Unemployment must be prioritized. Monotropism must be accommodated for any jobs we apply for.
After I was assigned to my previous and third counselor in November 2022, she inspired confidence that helped me trust my instincts. This led to my suspicion of needing accommodations back in April. Unfortunately, she was powerless to effect change from her position. So, in November 2023, I was lucky to arrange a meeting with her supervisor about the accommodations issue. It seemed to go well. The next one did not.
The second supervisor had a narrow view of case management without consideration of conflicts with autism. I had a panic attack just after he left. I was still suffering from it the next day in my counseling session. She saw how shook up I was. It lasted for three more days. Of the four accommodations I requested, the fourth was essential. Ripe with desperation, I pushed myself to write my second informal theory to explain it.
My Monotropism Employment Theory proves that monotropism needs to be accommodated with employment selection. Otherwise, mental health can be strained to a breaking point for autistic people. My theory also explains why I was indecisive, how this disrupted my economic development, and how it ruined my work history. I finished the theory on December 20th, as my end-of-year stress was worse than ever.
Awareness is a double-edged sword. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes life gets worse before it gets better. Two months earlier, I cautioned my counselor that I was in the midst of a perilous waiting game. Now that I know what the problems are, each day is traumatizing for me. Now I know that adequate integration is needed for a person’s mental health to be healthy. That integration is needed on terms that accommodate autism.
Monotropism involves autistic people making stronger connections when we engage with our environment. As I realized, one of the biggest engagements in daily life is employment. Employment is needed for economic stability. Monotropism depends on making that stronger connection in what we do for our sustainability. Without it, our mental health will suffer consequences that can include suicide as well as PTSD.
Therefore, accommodating monotropism is necessary for the quality of my mental health care. Going to another provider would solve nothing. It would relieve mine of the responsibility for quality care and for how they handled my accommodation requests. It would also be a major disruption to the continuity of care that I, as an autistic person, depend on. No denial this time. Neglect does not solve problems. Problem-solving solves problems.
So the first major challenge is to request accommodations. Not requesting because you have been led to believe no one will honor them is the easiest mistake to make. It is true that our society is not eager to accommodate needs outside of the accepted status quo. But the first and most important step in advocating for your needs is having the courage to ask for them. Even in the face of intimidating opposition.
The most important questions may be the ones we are afraid to ask…
#AutismAdvocacy
Continued here in Advocacy in Conclusion, Part 4.
