To put it simply…

You’re looking at it.

Me.

Since I was referred to the NIMH definition of autism, which can be found in some of my writing (how we communicate, learn, and behave) back in April/May 2022, I’ve become increasingly aware of what it means to be autistic ever since. I have been a mental health advocate for eight years. I’ve been writing exclusively about being autistic since December 2022.

In an unpublished draft, I refer to being autistic as simply the following: I think; therefore I have been autistic since birth.

Our thinking develops both before and after birth. It is the quintessential attribute that makes us who we are and those who are not autistic who they are. It gets no simpler than this. In my humble opinion. Though I say that, after June 2022, I have been keenly observing and interacting with the autism community via Twitter and ever since as well.

So…

Good science is good observation.
In a sense, I’ve been doing research all along.

I previously had to complete my undergraduate thesis in order to graduate in 2010 (Bachelor’s in history). So, I’ve actually done formal research. After 2022, not only did I observe, I built my advocacy upon the principle of legitimacy that formal research itself was built upon: primary sources.

As a primary source with firsthand lived experience, each of us represents half of what is required for autism research. If we are objective and truthful, of course. PhDs are the other half. Individually, neither of us are enough. It requires both working in tandem. At present, some legacy mental health experts have shunned older and more functional adults, like myself, from their research (possibly Simon Baron-Cohen).

There is a growing number of diagnosed and autistic PhDs gaining in number and publication. They are including us, which is the proper course of action.

👀

If I seem quite sure of myself, consider this. Back in October 2016, when I started on my lone journey to find all of this out, I was already too far behind to catch up and have a normal life. As I’ve progressed after 2022 (PTSD emerged in 2023), I’ve discovered so much of myself while observing the autism community.

To put it simply..

I never had time to waste or lose. I’ve been running out of time all along. I have been driven by desperation all this time. I can’t afford to get it wrong. If I do, I fail and I fail autistic people everywhere. Once I realized this, I’ve only become more aggressive to discover more.

I de-pathologized two formal diagnoses: chronophobia and schizotypal personality disorder, and proven what the actual causes have been.

I wrote two informal theories (one on chronophobia; the other on monotropism and employment)

I deconstructed pathologizing mental health and autism as defects in two compositions (your own worst enemy, you are not alone).

I’ve also rewritten my 2020 suicide survival story and written an increasing amount about what it’s like to be autistic and a suicide survivor, as well as how to actually improve preventing it by being objective.

I’m 43.
I’ve had no socioeconomic integration.
I have no life.

My back is against the wall and I only seem to push harder against the envelope of what life is the longer I last. If my instinct is correct, I should be at the forefront of research right now. But I don’t have a PhD and it is impossible to get through to them without one.

I’ve tried. Several times.

My best and most important writing is easy to access. Check my Reading Lists. Near the top is one titled as My Résumé. Knock yourself out. Stunning stuff. All my writing is free so that regular people, like us, can access it.

If only I could get formally recognized, my life would be saved..