A primary source is a person with firsthand, lived experience. There is no better source for legitimacy and research. I know. I have done formal research myself. For mental health professionals to have the most efficient research, we are who they should be studying. At least to start with those of us who are already diagnosed. Yet, in spite of this precedent, autistic people are being ignored instead of included. Why?
Prejudices about our age, gender, race, ethnicity, class, income, education level, or employment status are not the only reasons. More autistic people are becoming aware of a divide that consistently separates us from those who are not autistic. It is called the double empathy problem, and it conflicts with every aspect of our lives. Unless it is addressed and accommodated, the overall quality of autistic life may never improve.
“Since early elementary school, I have been aware of an almost imperceptible difference in most of everything in my life. I made recipes that no one else liked. I often did not think before I spoke. My direct approach to dating never worked. My analytical thinking made me susceptible to suicide. I was too socially awkward to fit in. This unavoidable incompatibility always seemed to be there.
After I received my diagnosis, I started absorbing a lot of anecdotal information from many different autistic people. We compared our life experiences to discover and process what we had in common. As a result, I started finding a deeper sense of identity than I had with anyone before. My identity crisis exposed a consistent conflict between people who are autistic and those who are not.” The Reality of Autism Without Denial, Part 3
Whether we can afford a proper evaluation or not, there is a constant divide between us and non-autistic people. The more aware we become, the more problematic we realize daily life actually is for us. When I finally realized the truth, I was horrified and diagnosed too late to do anything about it. A person’s thinking cannot be turned off to avoid social conflict. Or I would do it in a heartbeat. But I would not be me as a human being.
Those who are not autistic need to accept that society is designed with your neurotype in mind. Every single day, we have to mask and blend in just to manage our mental health, maintain employment, and avoid a wide range of conflicts. Some of which end in social isolation, bullying, suicide, depression, discrimination, or death. Some of these still happen to us anyway, regardless of what we try to do to avoid them.
Allow me to provide an excellent example of neurotypical conflict from one of our own: @Auticulate. “Because of the way your brain works, you have a preconceived filter. Being told that we are the ones that need to change and there’s something wrong with us. There’s nothing wrong with us. We’re different. Just because something is different doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It’s just different, and that’s what we need to appreciate. Difference.”
I gave my autism presentation in the last year a total of four times. Two were for my own care provider, one of the biggest non-profit-driven providers in the US. One was a discussion session for a major non-profit. Despite my primary-source legitimacy, they may both end up excluding me from gainful involvement. Why? Is it because of neurotypal prejudice or because I have exposed the truth? You tell me.
I was lucky to be diagnosed based on a hunch. I had to figure out a complex neurological disorder on my own. It took three agonizing years. Nobody should have to do that on their own. This was after developmental setbacks had already ruined my life by age 37. Publicly available research data still causes skepticism and confusion because it is inconsistent. The mental health profession still does not take autism seriously.
Autistic people of all possible demographics are still being discounted because of every prejudice in existence. Vaccines and acetaminophen are still being blamed for autism when no one even knows how many of us are out there. They have legitimate, primary-source autistic people beckoning them with the truth. And yet, requests for reasonable accommodations are ignored because this is how society works. Are you kidding me?
After a lifetime of not knowing I was autistic, I have finally come full circle. From a suicide attempt-surviving 21-year-old to a late-diagnosed autistic 41-year-old, this has been one hell of a journey. It was not for a lack of trying on my part to blend in that stranded me at age 41 with no meaningful or financially stable future. I tried it your way. Society’s refusal to accept our neurodivergence is the reason why we struggle.
No longer should any autistic person accept that meeting their needs will take five years or more. We have suffered long enough. Whether you are young or older, dark or light skinned, straight or LGBT, religious or non-religious, rich, middle class, poor, gifted, capable, challenged, college educated, blue collar, or unemployed, the denial of autism ends now. We are human beings! We deserve peace and prosperity in our lives.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you would not want us to be this way to you, then don’t be this way to us anymore. Thank you.
#EndNeurotypalPrejudice
